Lame game thread: The Slayer Edition - Padres @ Braves 8/25/09 LOSS

[wordslayer©]

Gawd...we collectively suck as a group of posters.

I know...the graphics aren't that good.

Anyhow, through the first six innings we are down 1-0.

[wordslayer©]

Through seven innings we are still down 1-0. We've only mustered two hits and our offense is as ugly as Susan Boyle.

[KB 34]

Go Braves

[wordslayer©]

Top of the 8th. Jurrjens is pitching terrific.

If Jurrjens is pitching in the top of the 8th, that makes us the home team, right? This means we still aren't out of it. Can't get expert analysis like this at ESPN.

[wordslayer©]

Jurrjens has just thrown his 126th pitch and appears to be holding his elbow.

Awe heck....I'm just kidding. It's not like anyone is actually reading this $hit.

[KB 34]

You need to score runs to win a game.



(waiting for my ESPN contract)

[wordslayer©]

With two outs, trouble is brewing in the 8th. There are two runners on. Looks like that O'Flaherty guy is coming in to pitch. THIS MAY BE THE GAME.

I just painted the vista. I'm building the excitement. This is our Waterloo.

[wordslayer©]

And due to a brilliant move by Bobby Cox, we end up saving our season here. We make it out of the 8th without a run scoring.

Offense appears to be energized now. They look hungry....like wild dogs. They have that look on their faces that they will not be denied. Even porn can't excite you like this.

[wordslayer©]

Escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first
escobar on first......escobar on first.......escobar on first

[wordslayer©]

LaRoche strkes out swinging. This only serves to strengthen Escobar's resolve. He scratches himself, which reminds me to do the same.

[wordslayer©]

And the rally is now on. Diaz singled. Escobar moves to second. I can even see the pixels in my monitor tingling with excitement.

[wordslayer©]

Norton called to the plate. I love Cox....he knew that we needed a walk here.

Norton has 15 walks to go with 3 hits this year.

Bases are loaded. The camera just panned to the moon and I swear you could see Skp Carey's face on it. It's a sign that this game is ours.

[wordslayer©]

Infante in to hit and he pops out to shortstop. I think I read where he was abused as a child. I can now understand why.

[Lauren T.]

Nice optimism, slayer. ;)

[wordslayer©]

Prado to the plate. The season is riding on his shoulders. He takes a deep breath and strides to the plate.

And just like the butterfly on the breast of a truck stop waitress.....that was ugly.

Prado struck out

[wordslayer©]

Nice optimism, slayer. ;)

:thumbsup:

[wordslayer©]

Moylan in to pitch the 9th. Moylan was born with two thumbs, one of which he lost in a snow cone accident. I can only see this as a good omen for us.

[wordslayer©]

Good gawd....Moylan is on fire. He's hotter than the Rap at an abortion rally. Side retired.

[wordslayer©]

Chipper flies out to right. If I were Wren, I'd trade his white a$$ to the detroit lions.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Well I'm just now turning the game on. I see I haven't missed much.

[wordslayer©]

McCann singles to right! This is the hope we needed. This is the spark to start the fire.

If I had one of those goofy foam tomahawks, I swear to you, I'd be chopping with it right now.

[Chris_Moderato]

Damn it, rookie! How is Anderson supposed to hit into a game-ending double play when you go stealing second?!

[-Dr. Brave-]

My man Reid Gorecki pilfers second base.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Please, Yunel, don't hit into a DP.

[wordslayer©]

Anderson with the walk.

Like a pentacostal minister at invitation, "Can you feeeeeeeeeeeeel it people? Can you feel the spirit working????"

Skip didn't come to the moon for nothing. This game is ours.

[-Dr. Brave-]

:thumbsup:

[Chris_Moderato]

It's the power of Skip! Roachy knocks one in!

[wordslayer©]

Escobar with the strike out. Now it's up to LaRoche. That's like leaving your heart surgery up to Oprah.

[wordslayer©]

LMAO....way to go Skip!!!! I knew we could come back.

[Lauren T.]

$50 says the bunt wasn't MattE's idea.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Good idea, except that the hottest hitter on the planet was at the plate.

Free baseball.

At least Jurrjens is off the hook. He didn't deserve to lose. I bet he's Latos-intolerant though.

[wordslayer©]

I like the name Mike Jalapeno Gonzalez. It's probably racist or something, but if I were mexican, I wouldn't mind being called that. I can't call him Mexican, can I? That's racist. I think I can say he is Hispanic, though.

[Lauren T.]

I like the name Mike Jalapeno Gonzalez. It's probably racist or something, but if I were mexican, I wouldn't mind being called that. I can't call him Mexican, can I? That's racist. I think I can say he is Hispanic, though.
Wiki says he's a Mexican-American (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Gonz%C3%A1lez_%28pitcher%29); he was born in Texas. I don't know how he would feel about being called a Mexican. I'm 1/4 Filipino but no one ever guesses that, and I'd think it's funny if someone called me Asian!

[GeneGarberForPrez]

Slayer, I'm not sure who or what cranked you up tonight, but I love it!

I have now officially turned off the game and am relying on you for updates because I like your play-by-play better.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Chipper is 1 for his last 28, and is being walked intentionally. :D

[wordslayer©]

Slayer, I'm not sure who or what cranked you up tonight, but I love it!

I have now officially turned off the game and am relying on you for updates because I like your play-by-play better.

Thank you, Gene. It was my honor to do the game thread tonight. But alas.....I now have to finish polishing my bowling ball.

[Middle Man]

I really wanted to see Ganderson get the game winner just to see the team's reaction. Would they chase him around the field banging him on the head while he laughs hysterically? Somehow, I think not.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Chipper hyperextended his knee reaching for the first base bag after his intentional walk, and will sit the rest of this one out.

KJ at second, Prado at third.

[Middle Man]

Pitching has been excellent tonight but the hitting has been very unclutch. 10 LOB, 8 LOB in the last 3 innings.

I really think that if they'd had a pinch runner in for Ganderson in the 9th, he would have scored the winning run on Adam's hit.

edit: Soriano: 3 up, 3 Ks. What a waste if we don't win this thing.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Our top 3 spots in tonight's order: 0 for 14.

EDIT: 9-1-2 due up in the 12th, with the pitcher's spot to follow. Time to tie this one up again.

[Wahoo]

Well, the Braves have surrendered the lead. This team is quickly falling out of the playoff race, despite playing pretty good ball. Just winning series' isn't good enough, we need to sweep series, especially ones against crap teams like the Padres.

[-Dr. Brave-]

Sigh. We lose another series opener.

Gotta start winning the games we should be winning.

[KB 34]

Big win for the Braves tonight and I mean a big win, those of you looking at the boxscore must remember looks can be deceiving. As most everyone knows southern churches are a big deal in the south. I believe the Braves had a big church deal at a Braves game a while back with Smoltz speaking. These days Smoltz is long gone and who do the Braves start in CF? Omar Infante. The last I checked the Braves have a guy named Church, and what better than to put church in the center of things? With Infante in the center the Braves simply didn't have a chance and not only did he go 0-6, but he was contagious and Prado, following him in the order, went 0-6 as well. The Braves turned their back on church and the team simply didn't have it, now they know. For that I declare tonight was a huge win for the Braves.

[Andy G.]

$50 says the bunt wasn't MattE's idea.
You don't think so? I can't imagine Bobby giving the sign to bunt for a hit with two outs. I remember a couple weeks ago Diaz bunted for a hit in a game that he had already hit a homerun. When Bobby was asked about it he said something like, "Well he had just hit a homerun...." then he gave him credit for getting to first base safely. He was implying that the smart thing to do would be to swing the bat while you're hot. I just can't see Bobby making that call.

I could be wrong. I didn't watch the post game show. Maybe they asked one of them who's idea it was.

[Lauren T.]

I fell asleep in the 11th but recorded the post-game show -- I'll let you know if anyone answered the question. :D

[Gman]

LOL That was the game thread of the year Slayer. And Lauren, if it wasn't for the funny hat I woulda swore that was marilyn monroe in that photo!

[Hillbilly]

Wordslayer,

Nobody makes 9 innings of 1-0 baseball in front of 5,000 comatose fans on a Tuesday night sound as riveting as you did. I got several much-needed laughs out of this one. Well done, sir. :thumbsup:

[Lauren T.]

LOL That was the game thread of the year Slayer. And Lauren, if it wasn't for the funny hat I woulda swore that was marilyn monroe in that photo!
The larger version (http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs119.snc1/4751_87244616009_509006009_2398300_1231573_n.jpg) of the picture shows that the girl has a binky, which would totally be appropriate if Marilyn ever went to a rave. :D

[luvdembravos]

If ESPN could somehow replace Joe Morgan with Wordslayer, maybe I'd watch Sunday Night Baseball more often.